September 11th, 2008
While there’s an argument to be made that the stupidest, most ridiculous clothes are those worn in real life, usually by clueless celebrities to red carpet events or the masses adopting some current short-lived fad (crocs, I’m taking about you!), it’s clear that we have it dumb in science fiction.
I’ve got no problem with odd but functional clothing (check out the link if only for the line “the underwear calls 911” — that’s sf, baby). Something like the stillsuits of Dune are pretty cool, whether or not they look good. The problem I more often have is with costuming for movies or TV, where it’s either like a flaming drag queen’s closet exploded all over everyone in sight, or everyone has on silver jumpsuits and looks seriously unhappy.
Blue jeans have been around for a hundred years, and I bet they’ll be around for a hundred more. Same with classic suits and dresses. If you throw in silly clothes into your future story, make them an integral point of the story (e.g., “super weevils ate all the cotton, so now we all wear tight black leather pants!”), or make them reflect silly fads that have always happened.
But here are my picks for the stupidest clothes in science fiction:
In this choppy clip from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (which I watched all the time as a kid, setting back my sf IQ by 20 points), we have space barbarian clothing (poor Pantherman, OMG!), outrageous shiny cocktail dresses for everyday wear, and the all important white/tron guy jump suit.
UFO was 60s inspired silliness, but if you’ve seen the cover to Charlie Stross’s new book, Saturn’s Children, it’s back with us.
And while I’m tempted for number three to go with something like Space: 1999, which had more tron-guy jumpsuits that were awful, I have to go with the campy Flash Gordon of the early 1980s. As bad as the overdone costuming is, I think it works and gives the movie some charm. It’s having fun with itself. Too many of the jumpsuit shows, from Babylon 5 to Buck Rogers to UFO to Star Trek, take themselves way too serious. The Babylon 5 outfits weren’t too bad usually, and similarly with Trek, but it’s a fine line when you’re playing serious.
I must have missed some worse ones though (and I intentionally avoided superheroes, where it can be too easy). What do you think?
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I definitely think that what was missing from the godawful TV remake of Gordon were the outlandish costumes. And racist villain or not, blonde pretty Ming just didn’t do it for me. Too far in the other direction I think.
I agree! I watched half an episode of the show and didn’t know what it had in common with Flash Gordon other than the name.
On my livejournal feed, my fried Jon suggested, quite correctly:
“The hospital scrubs/clean room suits/ugly jumpsuits from Star Trek: The Motion Picture (I think that was the name of the first movie) were particularly heinous.”
As I was watching the links, my boss asks, “What are your watching??” I had to explain to her that science fiction geeks really like their porn with bad clothing. 😉
What’s the matter with Flash Gordon?! Come on, man. Best movie EVER.
Well, Eric, the scene where the princess gets whipped and says, “damn you, fada,” talking about Ming with that heavy accent, that could be the best scene EVER.